Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
