So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
