if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
