Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
