I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
