whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
