nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
