Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
