You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't deserve a penis
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
