so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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