I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
