White coat. Heels.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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