Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
