i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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