did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I didn't notice because vodka
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I am one with the molecules
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
