Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
