I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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