she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
