I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
