The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
