Nicole vs. Life
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
