lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
