wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
