You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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