bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
