I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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