So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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