Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
