Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
