Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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