every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She bit a glass in half.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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