dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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