the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
