I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
