I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
