I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
