I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
