i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
