Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
