yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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