Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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