i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize