He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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