well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
love makes seman taste better
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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