I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
love makes seman taste better
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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