? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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