Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
im holly from the hills drunk
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
