Define "chronic" masturbator.
...so i touched it.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
