sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
