I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
