Christians are straight up FREAKS
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
