I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
