I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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