eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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