So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
