OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
